It’s currently rather fashionable to bash Telecom – every industry pundit seems to have written a dozen columns on NZ’s below par broadband that’s resulted from Telecom’s monopoly of the market. And if it’s not that particular subject, then every average New Zealander has some story of incompetence and/or evil at our largest company.

But the thing is – Telecom brings it all on itself. For years it has gouged New Zealanders wanting to connect their phones ($60 in most places, $40 only where there is competition for local phone calls); attempted to step around the Kiwi Share agreement (originally set up when the asset was sold off from the government); stalled progress on internet speeds; moved backwards on internet download limits (unlimited five years ago, outrageously expensive for anything over 10GB now); and given us toll call “deals” that become more restrictive the more popular they become (capped calls for unlimited talking that eventually became [admittedly cheaper] for only 2 hours).

 Who can blame people for wanting to get in a couple of kicks in while Telecom is down? (And I’m talking metaphorically down there, not the “down” whereby tens of thousands of users on  Xtra broadband plans were unable to connect to the internet for days, and were then offered $3.25 compensation).

For instance, in my pod of 4 people at work, three of us have had nightmares courtesy of Telecom in the last few months. Mine was the least worst: I simply wanted to get on a broadband plan (with anyone except Telecom). I still had to wait for Telecom, while my new ISP waited for Telecom to get around to enabling the line or whatever switch they throw. It took about a month to get broadband, and ringing Telecom was a mess of redirections (“You need to talk to Provisioning”, “You need to talk to your ISP” and “We don’t do that here”). Similarly, my workmates QuothDaRaven and Phobious each separately moved from one flat to another. They were turned into gibbering wrecks from a seemingly endless series of fuckups by Telecom. Long hours on the phone, trying to patiently explain that no, the bill for the old place WASN’T meant to be going to the new place, and that the money they paid (under threats of legal action by Telecom) for that old place WASN’T meant to have been credited to the new place. These are 2 guys doing standard things. Telecom surely must be able to handle people moving house. You’d think.

It therefore brought me great pleasure to see that a pisstake of one of Telecom’s more vomit-inducing ads recently went up on the net. And then down again, when Telecom whinged toYouTube, the video-sharing site where it was hosted . Of course, this clever behaviour simply got reported on and mentioned at various blogs, and the video spread to more and more places, and more and more people heard about it and what jerks Telecom were being.

So, in the spirit of wishing Telecom a painful, lingering death (or failing that, a quick buyout by somebody with a clue and a Google-esque “Do no evil” policy), I too would like to show interested viewers the Telecom video, as first aired on Close Up, put on their website, and subsequently removed (at the demand of Telecom – surprise, surprise). I wouldn't be surpised if the below GoogleVideo version disappears at some stage too, although it'll just keep popping up and popping up and popping up…

Even for those on dial-up, it’s worth waiting for the download.

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